Looking at you

Wondering what to say 

   To have you feel attracted to me

   To have you see that I’m confident 

Without allowing you to see

   How vulnerable I feel

   How scared of your rejection

   And how awkwardly I quietly search for the right sequence of words. 

To impress

   While not betraying the feelings behind the scenes;

I scroll through all the words I can think of, 

But none of them feel quite good enough. 

A lot of them don’t feel authentic

Others don’t project the image I want. 

Either way, 

I end up finding no words sufficient

And watch you leave the produce section

Regret starting to cloud up around me. 

Maybe next time

I’ll be able to think of the right thing to say

To show you…

…How confident 

…I am

That’s how this works right? 

Damn you words,

Your only job 

Was to hide 

What I’m feeling inside