I was thinking about the toothfairy today. 

Not sure why, but here we are. 

I always disliked the idea of the toothfairy, because of the lie that parents have to create in order to create this image for their kids. But today I noticed some implicit lessons of the toothfairy, which seem to me much bigger than a quarter under a pillow. 

When a child is losing a tooth, they are in a place of uncertainty. 

Of somewhat scary newness, where one era of their life is ending (baby teeth phase)

And another era is beginning (where they have adult teeth). 

The trip into this new place is somewhat to very painful, 

They have to eat differently, speak differently, and be very present to their sensations so they don’t accidentally swallow a tooth in this transition. 

After a tooth is lost, then, the tooth fairy shows up. 

And the tooth fairy gives them a small sum of money as a fun surprise. 

The child doesn’t have to do anything to earn it after they’ve lost the tooth; 

They just go to sleep and SURPRISE here’s some money. 

The money left seems to me to represent a cosmology of the universe. 

Where if you’re willing to allow your teeth to be wiggly and trust that even as your old teeth are popping out, new bigger better ones are coming in to fill in the gaps even more spectacularly before. 

Where the old you is phasing out, and a new one is on the way very shortly.

If you’re willing to allow these, and to lean into this uncertainty and allow yourself to sleep deeply without looking for the reward, the reward will pop up as a reminder that you’re on track. 

That somehow, somewhere, there’s some form of intelligence looking out for you, even if you can’t see it. 

This seems to be the biggest implicit learning a child would gain from the toothfairy. 

Now, while we could debate whether or not this is true, the trueness is not in itself the point. 

The point is simply that the child gains a felt sense that their uncertainty and struggle will be rewarded, and that there’s a light on the other end of it. Even if they have to exist with a lisp for a while. 

And that implicit model of the universe seems a useful one to live by. 

So bravo, toothfairy. 

Bravo.