For the first time, maybe ever, last night

I stood in front of the mirror and just looked at MySelf

Not judging different parts of myself, like I’d usually do

Or doing positive affirmations (no thanks)

Just looking at all the fun little things

That I’ve often missed

And feeling sadness

About all the self-judgment I’ve sent my own direction

All of the castigation

The non-acceptance

And the anger

All that became much more tangible, 

Much more real

When there was a person standing across from me

And I had to look them in the eye. 

Just as it’s easier to bully people when they’re faceless over the internet, 

It’s easy to bully myself when I don’t have to visually see how it hurts me

And how much sadness it can cause. 

As I stood there looking

At the being who had to receive all my hatred,

I was overwhelmed with compassion

And remorse

And made a decision, 

That I’d like to build a more beautiful relationship with this 

Tentative man in the mirror.