The idea of fairness, creates violence
No matter which way you slice it.
This was an interesting thought that popped into my mind recently.
And before I could argue with it,
I was curious how that could even be possible,
Given I’d spent most of my life struggling for fairness in all sorts of ways.
What I saw surprised me.
Life is, inherently, not fair.
Not in a nihilistic, “you just need to suck the tailpipe of life” kind of way,
But moreso in a “fair is a blanket idea that when tossed over the world creates immense amounts of suffering.”
Even keeping every other variable the exact same,
Two kids in the same family have wildly different lives, interactions with their parents, and entire worldviews.
Entirely different universes, created inches apart.
So what does this have to do with fairness?
Well, everyone starts life at a different starting line
They then spend their entire lives running to disparate finish lines
With entirely different values, morals, and fears.
So how do we use the term “fair” in today’s society?
Usually, to seek justice.
To exert punishment on those who broke a written (or often, unwritten) rule.
But is not exerting punishment on the offender,
The same violence that was propogated toward the victim,
Only with the direction pointed up and back?
It might make things “fair,”
But it certainly doesn’t begin to fix the issue.
It is just a reflection of more violence,
Which gives the offender more reason for violence in the future.
The idea of fairness keeps us in this constant struggle to solve violence with more violence, until the violent one learns through violence that their violence will not be tolerated.
Of course, there’s no way that that might lead them to more violence. That would be crazy.
The idea of fairness, for me,
Also led to a shit ton of jealousy,
Of anger
Of shame.
For me, it came out as “that person is a ‘bad person’. They’re basically ripping people off for a living. Why the fuck do they get to have a ton of money and fame and women and I don’t?”
It led to me holding anger toward this person, and shame toward myself, simply because of the things that they had.
Seeing the violence yet?
Underneath this perspective is an energy we’re going to call Good Boy, Bad Boy that I learned when I was little. It goes like this:
“If I’m a good boy, good things will happen to me”
“If I’m a bad boy, bad things will happen to me”
THEREFORE
“If bad things are happening to me, I must be a bad boy”
“If good things are happening to me, I must be a good boy”
Or
“If bad things are happening to them, they must be a bad boy”
“If good things are happening to them, they must be a good boy”
When this mindset grows up, it shows up everywhere.
“Oh that person is homeless, they must be lazy”
“Oh I’m feeling like shit, I must be a bad person. God must hate me or something. Maybe I manifested it when I accidentally thought about being sad this morning.”
“I really don’t want to, but if I don’t do what my boss asked, my life will fall apart”
“Good things will definitely happen for me if I say the things my girlfriend wants to hear.”
See if you can spot the hidden violence in each one of these statements.
This idea of fairness, created by the good boy bad boy mindset, runs deep.
And the violence that it creates can be spotted all over the place if we are just willing to look.