“NO IT’S NOT! IT’S A-N-T-H-O-N-Y!” He howled through tears, and stormed off across the basement.
The year is 1997.
The setting?
My babysitter’s basement.
I’m in 1st grade, and boy am I a good speller. At this point, grading my spelling tests has become more of a formality - the teacher and I both know a 100% is coming before she picks up the test. But she still looks it over, probably to satisfy the higher-ups. At least, that’s how it felt.
Anyway, back to the screaming child.
Today is a weird day, because a babysitter that’s been watching me for months is adding a new kid to the mix. And as with all blind introductions, they can get awkward sometimes.
So I’m in the basement playing, when the babysitter brings the new kid in, says to play nice, then goes back upstairs to her riveting television program.
With the doors closed, he says:
“hi, my name is Anthony. “
Immediately ready to show off the things I know, I say
“Anthuny. A-N-T-H-U-N-Y. That’s how you spell your name.”
And much to my surprise, he says
“No, it’s actually A-N-T-H-O-N-Y.”
“Silly Anthuny,” I think to myself. “I’m 6 years old, and I’m the best speller in my class. Don’t worry, I’ll set you straight so you know how to spell your name.“
I could barely retain all the smugness from leaking out of me.
Then, thinking I’m doing him a favor, I tell him
“Actually, I’m a really good speller, and the O makes an OWE sound. The Uh sound comes from a U. So your name is spelled A-N-T-H-U-N-Y.”
Well, he disagreed again. Much to my chagrin…
“No, it’s not. It’s A-N-T-H-O-N-Y.”
Trying to help him out again, more certain of this than anything else I’d said my whole life, I said
“Dude, trust me. It’s A-N-T-H-U-N-Y.”
That’s when he lost it.
With a shriek so loud he aroused the babysitter asleep upstairs, he yelled
“NO IT’S NOT! IT’S A-N-T-H-O-N-Y!”
And as the babysitter’s footsteps clonked down the stairs, I said “OK ok geez, I was just trying to help you out.”
Turns out… His name was spelled like he thought, and I ate a little humble pie that day.
Hell of an introduction to the house too.
But the lesson here is:
People love pushing their certainty onto others; it makes them feel safer to have more people under their conception of the world. To believe the same things they purport to know.
But the people with the most certainty are just as likely to be wrong as everyone else. So take their opinions with a grain of salt.
No matter how much certainty someone has in their answer for you, even if they’re trying to help you, that does not mean they are correct. Certainty does not equal correctness.
And the other lesson, if someone tries giving you a solution that really does not jive with your body/mind/soul/whatever, give a loud pitchy shriek and they’ll probably stop pushing their certainty on you.